Knowledge is Power

I've really been having doubts about the hospital we're going to have this baby at. Mostly, I think it's because of the lack of information the doc's provided. She hasn't offered any information unless I've asked just the right question. It reminds me of I, Robot when the hologram of the dead guy says, "I'm sorry, you must ask the right question" whenever Will Smith's character doesn't do just that.

At your first OB appointment, they give you a packet of information, none of it relevant to how the hospital is run or what to expect at the actual birth. Mostly it's info on how to take care of a baby the "right" way and how to take care of yourself during the pregnancy. Here's what I want to know: Will the doctors take into account and follow a birth plan? How often will I see a nurse or doctor during and after labor? What is the policy on C-sections (how long will a hard labor continue until one is "needed")? Can I use any birthing equipment like a birthing ball, squat bars, birthing stool, whirlpool tub, etc.? Do they allow water births? Will the make me lay on my back to have the kid (worst position ever!) or will the allow me to be in a more natural position? When I go into labor, will I be required to have an IV, or will I be required to be hooked up to a monitor so that I can't walk around? These are just a few questions that every soon-to-be mom needs to know, even if not every soon-to-be mom (or especially first-time mom) knows she needs to know.

At least we know where to go when I go into labor, right (but we had to ask that question)? Well, sort of. We still don't know where we can park that we won't have to pay by the hour (what a ripoff!).

So what is it with doctors withholding all of this important info? My theory:

Knowledge is power. There's definitely power in information. And every doctor has the information that moms/parents need to know for their birth. So by withholding information from the parents, doctors are really just keeping them in check. Because doctors have those special degrees hanging on their office walls, the rest of us just figure they know the right thing to do in a medical situation. The fact is, this is true in only some cases. Moms know best when it comes to their bodies. We know our limits. Most of us know we can trust our bodies. So why trust our bodies to someone else when we can do just as good a job, and probably better? The answer here is intimidation. We think that doctors always have our best in mind and that's simply just not true. They're looking at their watches and waiting for their shifts to be over, just like the nurses. They want us in and out with no hiccups. So they give us medication on top of medication, and when that doesn't work fast enough, they tell us there may be complications and in order to make sure the baby isn't effected by a long, hard labor they highly suggest a c-section. And we go along because we think they know more than we do and have our best (and especially baby's best) in mind.

Like I said before, as women, we know our limits. Instead of trusting all the decisions to doctors, we should be trusting our own bodies. It sounds cliche, but women have been having babies for thousands of years...and we've only had institutional medical doctors for around 50.

I'm going to be looking into hiring a doula (would also hire a midwife, but I'm fairly sure we can afford neither). Though the support is non-medical, I'm hoping to use her more as an advocate and coach while in the hospital. I have another OB appointment on Friday. I will ask the doctor all these questions and maybe even why she didn't offer me this information in the first place.